Why getting back together could be the best thing for you both.
Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber dated on and off between 2011 and 2014. Last month though they were spotted hanging out again. At the time, sources revealed that Justin reached out after hearing about Selena’s kidney transplant. Shortly after, Selena and the Weeknd had reportedly broken up after 10 months of dating. This has had us questioning whether getting back together is actually a good idea.
Rachel and Ross, Bridget and Mark, Serena and Dan. We are all too familiar with the classic on-again-off-again relationship. However, many real-life off-and-on relationships suggest a different wisdom, that some of our happiest relationships can be with people we have already been with. But it takes two self-aware and intentional people to make it work. See the relationship for what it is, not for what it could be.
Here we have five ways to get your relationship back on track.
Acknowledge the problem. Missing each other is never reason enough to rekindle. You need to talk about the breakup and the contributing factors. Writing a letter to each other about the breakup could make you both see that in the grand scheme of things, it wasn’t worth fighting over. Equally, if it is an external issue which cannot be changed then recognise you will both have to just move on from it.
Ask if you both want the same things now. Sometimes you are dating someone and you both quickly realise that you want different things. People can change though, and so can our needs and wishes. If you both want the same things now, timing could be working on your side. If you don’t though, never get back together with someone hoping they will change their mind.
Love is an action not an emotional feeling. Although controversial, this saying is true. Words won’t wash the dishes for you, or bring you home flowers. Start investing in each other and thinking of creative ways to show your partner what they mean to you. Pinterest is full of cute ideas and so are movies. Romance doesn’t have to stay in Hollywood and this isn’t a thought only for guys. We are looking at you ladies as well.
Stay true to your word. Your significant other may have been exceptionally hurt over the breakup and could have trust or other issues as a consequence. If this is the case, be more aware of your partner’s feelings and how different they could be in this technically new relationship. Be honest with them and be fairly cautious with your words in the first month or so.
Don’t get stuck in old habits. What part of you do you need to grow to create the relationship differently and meet your partner’s needs? And how can you ask your significant other to grow to meet your needs in ways he or she can hear and doesn’t have to defend against?
Ending a relationship is painful, surely everyone remembers Selena Gomez’s performance at the VMA’s in 2014? Separation though has proven successful. Mainly because it is a time each couple can have space to work on personal issues. Here are several couples who have worked it out after breaking up.
Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth
After meeting on the set of The Last Song and dating for about a year, Miley and Liam split in August 2010 for a month, then again in November 2010, and then they announced their engagement in June 2012. Shortly after however, they ended their engagement and split definitely in fall 2013. Until, they got back together and apparently eloped. Would someone like to confirm this?
Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard
Despite picture of true love now, Kristen Bell revealed to PopSugar that her now-husband Dax Shepard actually broke up with her shortly after they began dating. “He sat me down and said, ‘I can’t have this right now. I think you’re wonderful, but I am still dating other people,'” she said. “And then I, like, liquefied and fell to the ground.” Of course, he knew he made a mistake. “He called me and said, ‘I don’t know what I was thinking’ and he came back,” Bell told PopSugar. Shepard and Bell got married in 2013 so everything obviously worked out for them, but she said that she doesn’t let him forget that they almost were never married.
Megan Fox and Brian Austin Green
This pair began dating in 2004 when Fox was just 18 and Green was 30. They were engaged in 2006, and seemed to be on the fast track to marriage until 2009 when they split. “Marriage isn’t a realistic goal for someone who is 23, that’s all,” Fox said at the time. But their breakup was pretty brief and the pair ended up marrying in 2010 when Fox was 24. They had a son Noah together in 2012, another named Bodhi in 2014 and their third Journey last year.
Prince William and Kate Middleton
The Royal couple stole the world’s hearts with their lavish wedding, but many will be surprised to hear that this fairytale romance almost ended up heartbreak. They began dating in 2003 during their time at the University of St Andrews in Scotland. They dated until 2007 when they split. “We both were very young , we were sort of both finding ourselves as such and being different characters and stuff, it was very much trying to find our way and we were growing up” the Prince told the UK Press Association. But as we all know, the couple eventually reunited in June 2010 and they were engaged later that year. They have two children together and are expecting a third.
Pink and Carey Hart
This rock n’roll duo have been married for 11 years now but their relationship hasn’t been without its fair share of drama. They have broken up twice, first after two years of dating and then the second time they split was in February 2008, just two years after they tied the knot. Pink addressed it on her website and said: “The most important thing for you all to know is that Carey and I love each other so so much. This breakup is not about cheating, anger, or fighting.” They managed to save their marriage though and have since, welcomed two children.