It is more than likely that you will meet people you don’t like throughout your lifetime. Maybe the mother of your boyfriend is irritating you or one of your colleagues is just lazy, either way to achieve ultimate success you will need to figure out fairly quickly how to deal with not clicking with someone.
Instead of ignoring the person and even avoiding them in some cases, change your perspective. According to Deep Patel, author of the book A Paperboy’s Fable: The 11 Principles of Success, restricting who you can work with will only mean limiting yourself.
1. Think of them as children
A lot of the time, playground drama doesn’t just stop at graduation. Do not take the comments personally and rise above their negativity and childish nature. Accepting that you won’t get on with everybody will not only save you a lot of wasted time but it does not make you a bad person by realising that you cannot click with everybody you meet. Robert Sutton, a professor of management science and engineering at Stanford University and the author of Good Boss, Bad Boss says this is part of the human condition. “There are always other people — be they relatives, fellow commuters, neighbors, or coworkers — who we are at risk of tangling with,” he says.
2. Pick your battles
It is said that holding a grudge is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. Even if the person is aggravating you, by ignoring their irritating behaviours, you are neutralising the impact on you. In situations where you are truly stuck and can’t provide feedback, Suttons recommends you “practice the fine art of emotional detachment”.
3. It’s not you, it’s me
Only you alone have control as to how you react to certain situations. When we don’t vibe off someone else, we very quickly decide that we don’t like them and can consequently find every small thing they do, annoying. When this person is rubbing you up the wrong way, let your negative feelings towards them go, just nod and count to ten, or sixty. Do not put your reputation on the line by responding to their behaviour.
4. Open up to a referee
6. Own your happiness
You should never let anybody limit your success or more importantly, your happiness. Only you can have total control over your feelings so stay true to yourself and be kind. Be confident in who you are and as Eleanor Roosevelt said: “Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent”.
Author: Scarlett Victoria Clark
Scarlett Victoria Clark is Editor-in-Chief of Scriptoeris and a multi-lingual journalist. She has also written for Cosmopolitan and Harper’s Bazaar, when not writing she enjoys travelling and shopping for (more) heels.